Monday 9 June 2014

The Life of a Snail

You have to admit that you'd find it quite odd
If you woke up this morning a gastropod.
You'd phone in a sicky. "I'm really not well-
I'm finding it hard to come out of my shell..."

Your lifestyle would change, as too would your diet
You never ate greens, now you just want to try it
You are cursing and hating this unforeseen malady
'Cos your food source has gone from McDonalds to salady.

You're now a hermaphrodite. Breeding is tricky.
Involving hormones and slime...it's quite icky.
Love darts are involved if you want to get mate-ey
But Hey, you've succeeded. One hundred and EIGHTY!

And now come the sad part. Gastro-time really flies
And you're losing the sigh in all four of your eyes.
But your end will be swift...it is too sad for words
But a snail is simply a walnut for birds...

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