Thursday, 21 November 2013

Athena Good Pun...

He was tired. Oh, so very very tired. He'd been working on the Parthenon for nearly 15 years. Almost without break. He'd risen from the ranks, unlike most Athenians, and he took that to mean that the Goddess, Athena herself, was smiling on him. Which made him work all the harder. 

From humble tool-carrier to stone-smith and mason, he'd worked the Doric columns, His eye for detail had attracted attention, and soon he was overseer to the masons, and then, after ten years the ultimate accolade. He became foreman. 

Of course, although the Parthenon was open, it took another seven years to complete, and in that time he never took a break. And his desire, his need for perfection, in honour of Athena herself, never left him. How he yelled when things were missed. How he roared when the marble cracked. How he bellowed when the bass reliefs of the Metopes split and shattered. 

And now it was over. And he was pleased, for his voice was gone. No more could he yell. He could hardly even croak.
He was Bob, the Hoarse Foreman of the Acropolis ...

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Love at first sight.

It was, of course, love at first sight. How could it not have been?
She was undoubtedly the most exotic, the most exquisite creature he had ever seen.

Oh, they'd talked about her. The lads. Of an evening, when they'd sat around chewing the fat.
She was pretty much all they talked about. Her, her reputation, how they wanted to be...well, how they wanted to be where he now was.

He stared into her eyes. Vivid, startling green they flickered in the neon light. He gazed into them and saw himself reflected back a thousand times. She ran a long, languorous limb over his naked flesh, and he shuddered.

Yeah, she had a reputation. The Eternal Widow. Something of a maneater all the older blokes said. Beware of her. She only wants you for one thing...he was fine with that. If he was homest he only wanted her for the same one thing.

They embraced and he smelled her exotic scent. The coupling happened quickly, roughly, violently. He shuddered, his senses numb. This was it! He'd done what the others had only talked about! Just think! What a tale he'd have to take back to the


The lid lifted off the tank. She was quick, but not quick enough. Danny swore as he saw her holding the twitching, headless corpse.

"Oh...bugger. DAAAAAAD! The bloody Praying Mantis has done another one!"